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I had the dream again.
Reliving events
from many years ago.
I've walked down lonely
frightening streets
in the dark,
sometimes lost...
sometimes just knowing
I had a long way to go.
Telling myself
all would be well.
Telling myself
that I wasn't alone -
that there are people out there
that care about me
and will rescue me
before anything bad really happens,
though another part of me
feels the loneliness
a bit more oppressively
in moments like this,
when I realize
no one even knows
where I am,
much less cares,
when I'll be home.
My mind flashes back
to a time when this happened -
not sure how many years back.
I had missed the last bus
and decided to walk...
thought I'd take a shortcut
but I just got lost...
It got dark and very cold.
The winter streets were sick -
It's interesting what crosses your mind
in times like this...
thoughts about how close
they come to me -
the cars that come around
each corner
their lights in my face...
and I think about how slippery
the street is
and how close the cars
get to me
before they even notice I'm there
walking alone on this night...
Something I should not be doing,
should I?
No one really knows
that I am out here walking.
I tell myself with each car approaching
that it will safely avoid me,
just like the car before it did...
and that the lightening
will wait
will wait until I get home safely...
and the dogs I hear
will stay away,
not even noticing me...
and I plead with God desperately,
insisting that God intervene...
"You must!"
I should trust.
I must trust God...
These things I tell myself
over and over
at times like this,
trying to find comfort
in anything at all.
I've had this dream
more than once,
reliving real events
and I know it's a dream
this time
and I just wait
and hope
that the dawn
comes in time.