Chapter 12: Family Abandonment, Homelessness, Dangerous Housing
It might seem like it would make sense for my family to abandon me in 2004 following the events described in the previous chapter. However, that was nearly two years ago and it had seemed like I had a family in terms of my sister and my mother and father.
I was on my own. Even when Lynn became so sick in 2000, without any sense of a rift in our family, they were not there at all with any support at all. Lynn was the love of my life. It was clear. They had met her and known how happy and in love I was. No get well cards were sent. Nothing!
Nothing was done for me at all when Lynn became sick in 2000.
Somehow I had ruined Christmas and disrupted everything for the family in 2002 with a call that didn't result in the children being removed from my brother's family. Yet, the expectation of death of my beloved didn't affect the family at all. There was no outpouring of compassion or concern.
But a report to Child Protective Services that didn't result in any harm to their family in any real sense, that was a reason to bring the family together in unity.
Where was the unity for my own suffering when my beloved became sick and might die? Where was the unity when some psychopath was destroying my reputation and career that I built over a period of a decade or sixteen years if you include the necessity of gaining an undergraduate degree before I could get a graduate degree?
No matter what happened to me, it did not move my mother or father in any way. They felt no anger at those who hurt me, at least not as far as I could tell... no demonstration of anger at the people who harmed me... no compassion for anything that had happened to me.
Living in a Boarding House
In early 2004, I moved into a male boarding house at 721 Holloway Street in Durham, NC. This was a place where rent was paid weekly. The move-in cost was only one week's rent of $100. Weekly rent was $100.
We always paid it to Scott who lived in the apartment around the back.
I was getting support from the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) and they had recommended Web Design as a new career direction. It would not occur to me for a number of years that I had already figured out as an undergraduate student in the late 80s that engineering was not a good match for me and so anything related such as the software engineering aspect of Web design would not be a good match for me.
This was 2004 and my actual hopes and dreams were not foremost in my mind. I was barely surviving. I was always on the verge of homelessness.
I had been working at Eckerd in the photo lab and that afforded me the opportunity to pay to move into the location at 721 Holloway St. in Durham.
I had completed my training in Web Design and obtained a certificate from NC State in Web Design. VR was funding the start-up of my business but they had concerns about me opening a business, where customers might need to meet with me, in an area that was known to be a drug-infested crime-ridden part of Durham.
That was the way to describe this part of Holloway Street where I was residing. We couldn't even get pizza delivered here, maybe during the day... it was too dangerous. I had been mugged more than once.
Eventually, the landlord, Jimmy ( James Vecchione) decided to hire me to build an adult dating website in lieu of paying rent. This was convenient because my hours were being cut back at Eckerd Drugs where I worked in the photo lab.
Somehow a very sweet and special lady named Grace had been friends of Jimmy and his family. She was high class, special... also a very hot white lady. I met her through Jimmy which is amazing considering what was about to transpire. I only mention that she was white because at the time, I was mostly dating black ladies. My on and off girlfriend, Shonda, was black.
Grace would take me to the Durham Bulls game and have me work on her computer. I don't know why I didn't consider that she might be interested in a romantic relationship. She was a single mother.
I suppose that Grace seemed to be more sophisticated and with her children she might want someone with better financial means. Grace was definitely a looker in the summer outfits she wore. Wow! I don't mean to be crude but I am straight and so one cannot help but notice when a person presents themselves a certain way.
As I mentioned, I was working on the website for Jimmy - an adult dating site and he hoped to make money from it. However, at some point, Jimmy suddenly decided that the website was not producing income fast enough and he suddenly demanded that I start paying him rent.
I wanted time to find employment and a way to catch up on the rent. I was hoping that the web design business that VR felt was taking off would help me catch up on rent. There were other ways in which I could get assistance to catch up on rent to avoid eviction. Jimmy had taken out eviction papers and I had appealed the decision.
Back then, photography was not all digital and many of the photos that could not be replaced were from the 90s. I had photo negatives and CDs with photos on them. These were not replaceable. I also had letters from my first love Celta.
I just wanted a little time to find a place or a solution so these things would not be lost. I don't know how I hung onto these items through everything, through all the years of homelessness but I did.
This is some of what was going on when I was suddenly and unexpectedly attacked by Ana, the landlord's wife (Jimmy's wife).
I had built a friendship with Johnetta Alston as well. She had started a company to help those who were experiencing homelessness, including those who had criminal records.
As I mentioned, I had made friends among the homeless because I had been homeless on and off in Durham and I had gotten meals at the Urban Ministries that serves as a homeless shelter for men and women as well as serving meals 3 times per day and offering other services.
This was where I met my friend that I was expecting on October 1, 2004. My friend was black. The person who showed up, Ana, was a white woman - perhaps Hispanic.
While I had seen her very briefly in the pickup truck on one occasion when Jimmy was at this residence, I would not recognize her when she attacked me.
I had seen women who were eager to sell their bodies for $10 to buy drugs and they would be visiting other residents, I had not wanted to receive what they were offering - sex.
However, when Ana attacked me and I didn't recognize her, I initially thought she was on drugs and was one of these prostitutes.