Chapter 2: Going to College 

I was not truly aware of the ultimate career direction I would follow in life when I went off to college. I had been good at math and science, in terms of how they are evaluated in school when I was growing up. Being so shy and quiet one would not have noticed if I had any aptitude for English (literature, language, writing). We didn’t have psychology and so I had no idea that this would interest me until college.   

I knew about engineering because my father was an engineer, and it seemed like it would involve designing things which would make it more of a creative endeavor – that was what I was thinking in high school and so when I was accepted at the Georgia Institute of Technology, aka Georgia Tech, it seemed like every prestigious engineering program where I was accepted was far away and this seemed to be the most logical choice of where to go to college.   

This was far away in a big city in the south and I had only lived in a somewhat rural town in Connecticut. It was unfamiliar to go so far away. I would miss my cousins and my aunt. Paul had left the neighborhood and so we had drifted apart somewhat. The life I had known in Southington was familiar.   

However, my life at Georgia Tech would be transformative. I was no longer living with my parents. I was far away and could get support from my best friends. I started going to the Counseling and Career Planning Center to overcome what I would call shyness and to develop social skills. I would participate in counseling for the entire time I was at Georgia Tech, from late August of 1984 until December of 1989.   

I majored in electrical engineering with a minor in psychology. About a little over a year through the program, I was speaking to a friend who wanted to go into Restaurant Management but who felt that Georgia Tech was more prestigious than that. I asked if he wanted to do engineering for the rest of his life. His answer was “no.”   

Halfway through my program after having come a very long way in developing social skills and in overcoming my social anxiety, I told my psychologist/counselor (I would have the same one for the entire time), that I didn’t think I was in the right field. He gave me a career interest inventory. This matches one’s interests with those in various fields. This considers how one spends their time.   

Some jobs don’t require you to like what you do but a very skilled field that requires a college degree is going to be something that should be a good match for a person. I scored highest with careers that are first Social, and the second highest theme area based on my scores was Creative. Engineering, I was learning by that point, was in “Realistic” themed careers.  The “design” aspect of engineering was not reflected in the actual tasks of an engineer.   

In addition to going to counseling every week while I was at the University, I was taking psychology courses. I was very impressed by how much psychology had helped me and I learned about how it could be helpful to others with even more serious problems.   

I had values that extended beyond the science of psychology. The values of social work seemed to match my personal values. I was concerned about the overall well-being of people. I had noticed poverty and homelessness in Atlanta and this seemed like something that would be addressed by social workers along with other issues that affect people, families and communities. Therefore, I decided that I would be well suited to pursue a career as a social worker and that I could get a social work graduate degree with any undergraduate degree.   

I was too far along with my studies to pursue changing my major and/or going to another college. I didn’t have the means to do that.   

I had wanted to learn social skills for generally being able to connect with others, socialize etc. One of my goals was to find a girlfriend like other people. I had all of one date each with two different young ladies.  

I had been so well being away from my parents, and I had not fully understood that being away from them was necessary. I didn’t have a job upon graduation, and I thought it was understood that I was going to go to graduate school for social work. My father had said that he understood that engineering was not a good match for me. I imagined that he would have understood that it would be very unlikely that I would get a job as an engineer upon graduation but their support in paying for my undergraduate education was helpful.   

So, I made the mistake that things would work out for my benefit if I moved in with my parents. They had a room, and I didn’t eat too much.