I Hope The Witch Won't Eat Me

I always needed a place to hide
growing up...
and that little boy
is still a part of me.

I used to hide in the woods
near home
from that witch
that was my mother.

I knew how killable I was
as an infant
and that that somehow
the witch had killed my mother
when she was holding me -
better than to believe
my mother was that witch.

It makes no sense
but I was just an infant
and I was afraid that I was
not a person,
that I was just a part
of my mother
and that this meant
that the witch would eat me too.

Some time passed
and I came to know
that the witch was my mother.

Oh, through these years,
I've come to realize
that my fears and the dangers
I faced
were not 
mine alone.

Don't ask me why these things
happen...
why a mother can't love
why a child
becomes and adult
struggling for a reason 
to understand this
seeking those who tell them
their existence 
is important and valuable. 

Later in life,
as an adult
I just wanted to be that
nurturing or protective
surrogate
to help people 
do more than exist
but to live...

If only you will
invite me into your life.

I also won't lie to you
I won't deny
just how desperately
I could use a hug
or some other form of touch -
any human physical contact.